JiaNmeetsGian

Gian: Gumaganda ka ngayon jian ah

Jian:wala kang pakelam

Gian: Bakit ba ang sungit mo?

Jian:wala kang pakelam

Gian: Ikaw na nga ang pinupuri, ikaw pa mataray!

Jian: wala kang pakelam

Gian: Ano bang problema mo?

Jian: WALA KA KASING PAKELAM!!!

---minsan kunteng pakiramdam aman dyan..masyado kang manhid...kailangan ba lahat ineexplain? kailangan ba lagi kang pansinin at magpacute sayo para malaman mong mahalaga ka at kahit walang katuturan sinasabi mo, pinahahalagahan ko pa rin yun...kahit corny ka at para akong kumakain ng nilagang mais sa agahan, inihaw na mais sa tanghalian, mais con yelo sa merienda, cornic sa hapunan at CORNED BEEF sa midnight snack, napapangiti pa rin ako sa joke mong baliw lang ang natatawa...siguro nga baliw ako,,,corny ka naman...kinikilabutan ako sa tuwing maaalala ko ang kakornihan mo...kung paanong sa isang ngiti mo nahulog ang puso ko, sa isang tingin mo kinilig to the bones ako...at sa isang iglap...nasaktan ako...

---corny na rin ako ngayon at sa...TUWING MAALALA KONG NAGKAGUSTO KO SAYO...pakshOooot...NATATAWA NA LANG AKO...

YoU'rE BeAutifUL

The love of my life has gone

Too bad I can’t find it anymore

Too bad I can no longer be with it

It has vanished long before I realized its worth

The memories are full of pain

Thunder, lightning, rain flooded my heart all at once

Each time I see iit from afar

Something pinches my heart

The love of my life has gone

I can’t hold onto him

His far away and I feel like I’m a cast away

I sometimes wonder

Did I let him go?

Or He did?

Or...simply we did not know each other

The love of my life has gone

But the memories are still in here

Being here watching you from a distance

Is like waiting for a star to fall down

The love of my life has gone

I hate this feeling

I should have run from the beginning

I should have ignored the calling

But what can I do?

I can’t stop it and if I did...I’ll die

The love of my life has gone

I don’t know when I can have him

I am not sure if I have to continue enduring the pain

Or simply accept the fact that he’s not for me...

-I was inspired by You’re Beautiful...Somehow I can relate myself to it...A star...the brightest star and the frustrated star. It seems like I was born to watch that star and let that star be in its place because that’s where it belongs. If I try to reach for it, I have to search the whole galaxy and if I try to hold it I’ll just be hurt over and over again. My favourite star, please twinkle more...don’t lose your light...the dark road I am taking...please help me with it...please never ever conceal yourself...I will not bother you, that’s a promise but please stay where you are...don’t let me lose that bit of happiness that’s left in my heart

Today is a painful day. I wish the water could wash away the pain of my heart just like the way it washes away the dirt of my body. I wish it’s easy to forget. I wish it’s possible to be numb...because right now, something within me kills me. Am I destined to cry all my life? When can I be happy?

I could no longer distinguish which is more painful...Is’t the pain of letting it go or the pain of keeping it here in my stubborn heart?

PAIN---I thought I could just back out once I realized it’s hurting but then now I realized, there’s no way I could escape from the fangs of suffering.

LOVE---I don’t want to believe in it. I tried to deceive myself but each time I see it, I could not control myself. It seems like my blood goes up to my head. My heart beats fast. My mind goes blank. Everything’s unexplainable.

...I'M BROKEN...again

he VERSUS she

SECTION I: How she Relates to Other People Mercury Opposition Mars with an orb between 1 and 3 degrees Since you tend to be rather irritable and sharp-tongued at times you require a partner with a sense of humor who is not too thin-skinned. You are bright, curious and restless and enjoy the company of those who are equally high-spirited and enterprising. Venus SemiSquare Neptune with an orb of less than 1 degree Love for you is often a "divine discontent". You are so romantic and idealistic it is difficult for any mortal person to sustain your interest without disappointing you. Your need to idealize loved ones may make you susceptible to illusion. Sun Conjunct Venus with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees Most people like you. You form relationships easily but may have some difficulty sustaining them. You tend to project your own ego ideals onto your partner, sometimes at the expense of relating to their needs. For you, admiration is a prerequisite for love. Sun Sextile Saturn with an orb between 1 and 5 degrees You are serious, responsible, well-organized and protective. You take care of the people to whom you are close and see to it that their practical needs are attended to. For you a relationship is successful when it falls into a comfortable, pleasant routine. SECTION II: How he Relates to Other People Mercury Square Uranus with an orb between 1 and 3 degrees Brilliant and original as you are, you can also be difficult and unpredictable. Close ties may complain they never know when you are going to show up or what you're planning next. You are easily bored and love people who can both stimulate and surprise you. Mercury Square Neptune with an orb between 1 and 3 degrees Your imagination is so powerful that, if you don't have a strong creative or spiritual outlet, you may at times be over-influenced by your own fantasies or those of others. Beware of gullibility. In the long run, telling the truth is in your best interest. Sun Square Jupiter with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees Sometimes you suffer from an excess of enthusiasm and plunge into relationships and projects without seriously considering beforehand the viability of the situation. You are kind, honest and good-humored. Sometimes you're also a show-off or a know-it-all. Sun Square Uranus with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees You are restless and independent and, no matter how close you become to someone, you always remain your own person and there is a part of yourself you cannot share. You are uncompromisingly true to your convictions which must be shared by those close to you. Mercury Sextile Mars with an orb between 1 and 5 degrees Your sense of humor is one of your outstanding qualities. It usually manifests as a rather wry wit. Anyone you're close to must share this sense of irony. You probably have a special talent or an absorbing interest. Your closest ties are likewise involved. ....another thing... his Sun Square her Uranus: When the two of you get together, you make a lot of noise, and there is lots of excitement. There is a strong element of unpredictability and spontanaeity as well and you enjoy improvising new ideas and playing together. Because there is a loose, spontaneous quality to your relationship, you find that very often you can not depend on each other and it is difficult for the two of you to focus on mundane, tedious, or onerous tasks together. This is a good relationship for exploring new possibilities and interests and for spurring each other to become more spontaneous, independent, and creative, but a difficult relationship if dependability and commitment to each other is a high priority. his Sun Trine her Mercury: The mental rapport that you two share is a big reason why you enjoy each other's company and are good friends. Communication is open and harmonious. You work together very well on practical affairs, daily chores, problem-solving, and business activities. her Sun Sextile his Saturn: If the two of you depend on each other to accomplish practical tasks and be responsible, mature, and dependable to each other (such as in a business relationship or employer-employee relationship), then you will find that this aspect of your relationship is excellent. You can trust each other to get the job done and focus on the essential tasks. You have good attention to detail and your are able to focus on the most important issues when you work together. There is a strong sense of mutual commitment and dedication to each other. ...well..just asking

totAL reJectiOn

I did my best.
I spent too much sleepless nights.
I disregard invitations for social gatherings.
I read many journals, articles,books etc
I surfed the net in the hope that I would find something helpful for this.
I spent much time, money and effort.
I rushed myself each day you ask us to bring you the copy of our work.

But still...the strenuous effort and the dedication I have given were not appreciated...

I was slapped by failure, kicked by rejection, and bruised by insult.
...Would it even bother you if I kill myself? I guessed no. The hell you care and I doubt if you even cared about such possibility. I tried to smile despite of all the pain I carried. I tried not to curse you. I tried not to cry but each time I tried, damn! So hard.

The sharpness of your knife is nothing compared to that of your tongue. Not all insults could make one stronger nor move forward.

THANK YOU. BECAUSE OF YOU I LOSS ALL THE SELF-CONFIDENCE I USED TO HAVE.

dOn't

i don't know why you're so kind to me...i can't erase you in my mind...you are like my thesis...you're in my mind before i sleep, during my sleeping hours (dreams or should i say nightmares?) and after the long hours of my sleep...I see you every where and i hate it...just the thought of having you around makes me insane...

don't talk to me as if we're close

don't look at me as if you'e curious about how am i doing

don't touch me as if you care

don't stay if all you want is to leave me

don't make me happy if you'll just torment my innocent heart afterwards

don't ask me about what my problem is

...coz itz u...

i'm tired of pain

i don't want to use you as a rebound

i don't want to believe in fantasies again

i don't want to feel again

i don't want to fall again

so please just don't be kind to me...don't make me feel special...

it'll be better if you'll just ignore me like what you used to do...

for me...for both of us....

HOTversusCOLD

TANONG

Napapagod na ko sa pagdurusa

Nais ko ng tumigil sa pagluha

Paano nga ba ang lumimot ng kusa?

Sa sarili ko ako’y nayayamot

Sa t’wing naiisip ko sya, ako’y binubugnot

Ganito ba talaga yun kasalimuot?

Laman ka ng pahayagan

Dahil sa iyong katanyagan

Bakit nga ba kita pinahahalagahan?

Habang ang akin mata’y namumungay

Sila sa’yo ay nagpupugay

Ano ka ba talaga sa’king buhay?

Sa t’wing ikaw ay tinititigan

Libong daing ang aking pinapasan

Bakit ako kailanagang masaktan?

Dugo sa aking puso’y parang sumisirit

Sa twing pangalan mo ay nababanggit

Pa’no ba kita masusungkit?

Ako sa’yo ay may pagtangi

Ngunit palagi ko itong itinatanggi

May paraan ba para ito’y aking maisantabi?

--this is what i'm feeling not just now but always...

I used a final fantasy picture and my own pic to express my thoughts...Years ago, there was a child who knew nothing but her studies...She went in and out of school just to study and sometimes, to converse with her friends but as always, things needed to change. Suddenly she woke up and realized that there's something different within her. She didn't know if it was wrong or not.

Then the girl grew up. Nothing had changed. The feeling was still in her heart. She could not stop it nor escape from it. It was eating her. She could not ask for help though how much she wanted. All she could do was to cry...alone...

that girl was ME.

Just for a While by Aiza Seguerra_sb

yEars agO, a rAdio progrAm played tHis sOng...
I kept on looking for thiS soNg
fOr i nEver hEard it aGain...
I didn't know its title
...so it wasn't eaSy to tRace it...
and nOw thE paiN of heAring a sOng likE this...
a sOng to wHich i coUld relaTe myseLf....
my emOtion...caMe bAck aGain...